Choosing a nursing home can seem like a daunting task. If the need for care has become too much for you to safely provide and you find yourself trying to make difficult decisions in an emotional whirlwind, this section will provide you with some invaluable tips if followed.
As with any decision-making, finding the right nursing home is a step-by-step process. But those emotionally charged decisions can make it awfully hard to understand and navigate through the process.
There are many nursing homes that do provide excellent services and others that try very hard in the face of real funding restrictions and an inability to secure staff. Sadly, they are caught up in the distrust and suspicion which attention to the welfare of our loved ones indicates we should bring to this new competitive aged care system when we enter it. That is what a market system has done.
Even the best of homes and the most motivated of nurses make mistakes, things go wrong in spite of every effort and elderly residents continue to age and die. In these situations it is gracious and appropriate to recognise this, be forgiving and also constructive in assisting the home to prevent recurrences.
A good home will explain what happened openly and honestly. They will tell you what they are doing to prevent it happening again and often involve you in the planning. We all like to feel that our misfortune has at least benefited others and we should give our support.
The difficulty for the resident and the family is knowing when this is an isolated event and when it is a manifestation of a systemic problem. You will have to look around you to see whether there are other problems and speak to others to see if they have had similar experiences.
Management may be totally unaware that they have a problem and you will be most successful if you approach them in a friendly and non-confrontational manner. They may be in denial but should be prepared to listen carefully to your concerns and consider your suggestions for improvement. They should be able to explain what happened openly to your satisfaction and if it is needed initiate changes.
If you feel that you are being fobbed off then you should become more concerned. Consult someone with more experience than you have. Seek managements agreement to have the situation reviewed by someone you know who is knowledgeable and independent. They can hardly object. If you can resolve the issue without acrimony, your relationship and influence within the home will improve and you can contribute further to ensure the residents get better care.
The problem for relatives is that they are in an unfamiliar situation, are anxious, angry and sometimes grieving. In this situation it can be difficult to remain objective and restrain ourselves. Judgement can be clouded. We need to reflect before acting and have a friend who is able to stand outside our involvement and advise.